I’ve worked with quite a few people that i have disliked. I disliked them for a variety of reasons. Sometimes the relationship coped with working together. Sometimes not. Rather than just avoiding these people- my original strategy- there are times when you must work closely with people you struggle to like and so struggle to work with.
The concepts of behavioural preferences, as described through DISC, and of emotional intelligence can help you deal effectively with difficult people and situations. If you’re in the unfortunate position of working with people that you don’t like, you can follow these tips to get the most out of the time spent with your co-workers:
Know your work style. Determine whether certain people bother you or whether you generally just want to work alone. Use DISC assessment to understand your behaviour preferences and those of others. In my experience it is often the clash of behaviour preferences and work styles that cause a large number of interpersonal conflicts. I always turn up on time for meetings, some of my ex-colleagues never did. I projected my negative thoughts of turning up late incorrectly onto their behaviour. Knowing your own preferences through DISC and assessing those of your colleagues will really enhance your ability to work effectively with difficult colleagues. Remember you can choose your response to others behaviour, but know what your preferences are first.
Know your feelings. Decide whether you prefer to work with some people (either employees or certain types of customers) and not others. Take mindful notice of your emotions and feelings when you are with these challenging people. Take note of what they do or say (or don’t do and don’t say) that triggers your emotions. Analyse your response and choose another path. Structure your time to get more control over when you have to work with people you have negative feelings about to work with them when you are in a positive calm mood.
Pick the time of day. Assess whether you’re more open to dealing with others at a particular time of day. Take note of your mood during the day to a decide your best emotional time of day for working.
Choose the place. Decide whether you’re more comfortable working with difficult others in a particular place (for example, standing at her desk so that you can decide when to leave, in a public forum to avoid temper outbursts, outside of the office). Then choose this place for your engagements.
Plan ahead. Plan your interactions (set goals for the interactions) in advance so that you can structure them and control the mood, agenda and time. Think about what irritates you about the other person and prepare strategies o deal with these ahead of time. Find common areas by thinking about their work style and how best you can work with this style.
Keep it manageably short. Set the amount of time for your interactions in advance and try to stick to it. Knowing that you only have another 5 minutes to go may enable you to keep your negative emotions in check.
Be professional. Be pleasant, objective, of even temperament, even you if you don’t like the person you have to deal with. Keep your hot buttons in check. Treat yourself after every successful meeting with these people, so you may look foraward to successful meetings with them, rather than dreading it.
So, while you are still working with a person you may dislike, you will be able to create a system that enables you to work effectively with them. In time this dislike will move to a more neutral frame of mind enable the work to get easier. If you’ve tried this and its work, please share your thoughts and observations with others here.